Our Unending Poem

It was years ago when we first met.
There was something about you that I'd never forget.
You were there with David and I was with Beth,
You made my heart be so fast I had to remember to take a breath.
It wasn't at school or a party like you typical scene,
My love for you began at a church group called Lifeteen.
It was back when we were younger and I didn't have a cell phone
We said our goodbyes and went off on our own.
A part of me always remembered how you made me feel,
Though at my age I didn't really know what was real.
We found each other on myspace my senior year.
It was like something brought you back to me and my feelings were clear.
I was going to school and you were going to work.
Sometimes you would go see your mom, and seeing me was just a perk.
Then all of a sudden we didn't talk and were no longer friends.
Apparently I had been pushed to the side while you and your ex were making amends,
I moved on and picked up the pieces of my heart
My thoughts of you vanished as quickly as they had start.
Another year passed with no word from you
Then you came into work out of the blue.
Turned out my coworker, Matt, was your roommate.
You can call it magic or destiny but I call it fate.
We were talking again and friends on face book.
A few conversations was all it took.
You invited me over to hang out with some friends at your place.
I said yes just so once again I could see your face.
You called me when I was on my way over and said not yet.
You were going to see your ex, it was really over this time, no need to fret.
I remember thinking that this was stupid and all guys are dicks.
I couldn't believe I had fallen for another one of your tricks.
After the phone cancellation,
Fate stepped in again and I saw you at the gas station.
My heart began to race,
Especially after I saw the look of shock on your face.
The way it went couldn't of been greater.
You said sorry, it wont take long, gave me a hug, and said I'll call you later.
A part of me was still surprised when you called me.
You were on your way home, told me to come over and my heart filled with glee.
So that night we went out to Td's and had a few drinks
For me and you our first night together was crazier than most people think.
From that night til I moved back up for school,
I lived with you, had some of the greatest moments, and life was oh so cool.
The distance between us made things difficult and hard to handle.
Of course it didn't only have to do with us, we had our own scandal.
On November 29th, you broke up with me and let your ex back in your life.
You hurt me so bad and so deep it cut me like a knife.
I picked up my life once again and dropping off Christmas presents ay your house who do I see,
My heart stopped beating, my foot hit the brake, there you were putting up lights, hanging out of a tree.
Since things were quite hostile,
We ignored each other for a little while.
Tyler convinced you to listen to me and you agreed.
I didn't have much to say, only a letter for you to read.
I guess my letter got through and back to me you came.
We had many issues to work out, but we were back together just the same.
Within two weeks you moved up with me to Tallahassee.
It gave me hope and made me start thinking of things that could be.
I'm our first month living together, we went to look at the pound.
A Siberian husky named Peter was what we found.
We had our own little family and life was going so well.
Something ended up happening that was hard to tell.
You left for work one day at dawn,
When I got home with no explanation you were gone.
Without you, I turned into a ticking time bomb,
But a couple days later I found out I was to be a mom.
I decided I would face it all alone.
It might not have been that way if only you had known.
A week and a half later you messaged me on face book.
You drove back up here and it only took one look.
This time you said you were here to stay
You had me so vulnerable all I could do was pray.
About a month later, God's plan for me changed.
I wasn't to be a mother anymore and it felt strange.
I had just gotten use to the idea of a baby.
Was I still relived with a hint of sadness?, well yah maybe.
A couple months later we wanted our family to grow
Brody and Sparky, two new puppies, is what we have to show.
Our little family is now complete.
Coming home to everyone everyday is surely a treat.
We lost our Sparky that killed us inside.
Our hearts were crushed it was hard to hide.
We started fighting about stupid things,
and like before, pain is all that ever brings.
I decided I wanted to go see my family back home.
Then you sent me a text and I was alone.
You wanted to go our separate way,
and i knew there was nothing I could say.
You moved out and ignored me,
how immature could you be.
A year and a half and you cant say a word,
silence was all I heard.
So our unending poem is through,
and there is nothing anyone can do.
Well our end was just a new beginning,
and you better believe my head is spinning.
I have no idea where things are gonna go.
This time around we're gonna take things slow.
We both need each other and our own space,
but who we are to each other can't be replaced.
During our separations, we went looking for someone new,
but walking away from each other was something we couldnt do.
Now we are together and very happy.
Our babies and I think your a great daddy.
Such a close family is what we have become,
Not without struggle for sure, for there is so much we have overcome.
Our relationship has taking many detours,
but we have a future, of this i'm sure.
Well I lied again,
Only took another year together and there was our end.
I tried so hard to hold us together,
but your feelings for me faded as quick as the weather.
I still love you with all my heart and soul,
but the pain I feel is really taking it's toll.
Well back together again as the story goes,
we were doing okay but we some lows.
We moved back home to where we were from,
I thought it would be good for us, I guess I was dumb.
You found a new group of single friends,
your priorities changed and your personality bends.
We became friends with this girl,
I never imagined you'd give her a whirl.
We split again,
this time I was sure it was the end.
She said she was pregnant and you were the daddy,
I tried but I couldn't be anywhere near happy.
I guess the dates didn't match up and you walked away,
you begged me to give you a chance and said you'd stay.
After much to work though we were together and happy.
In September you purposed and it was no where near sappy.
Our relationship completely had made its amends,
so we planned the wedding with our family and friends.
In November we got married in a church,
our life was complete and so was our search.
A year later, God has blessed us
I'm pregnant again and it's only a plus.

Final Score

What am I going to do?
I sit here thinking of you.
This situation is new for me,
I only wish the answer was easy to see.
My heart is being pulled three different ways
Hopefully this is just another phase.
You all seem to show me you care
Dealing with all of this is getting harder to bare.
With two of you always so far away
And the other one isn’t sure if he is gonna stay
How is this an easy decision for me to make
When it’s my heart that’s at stake.
How can you ever measure who cares more
It’s not like you end up with a final score.

Daddy's Little Girl

My daddy's little girl I used to be
He would sit and bounce me on his knee
He made me feel safe and secure at night,
he taught me what was wrong and right
Now that I am grown and graduated high school,
as trails come my way
I know my daddy will still lovingly say,
Daughter, here is my shoulder
let me carry that heavy boulder
I thank my heavenly father above for
filling my daddy's heart with his love,
so that when the storms of life start to whirl
I can still feel like
I'm my daddy's little girl.

Flat On The Floor

My days are starting to feel like years,
Rivers could be made from all of my tears.
I want so much out of my life,
It seems all I do is cause some sort of strife.
All I do is hurt the people I care about.
I can’t seem to figure out the right route.
I wish I was a better person,
Though I just seem to worsen.
I wish you were here tonight,
I know we could really make everything alright.
I’m ready to give up and give in,
My happiness is as fake as my grin.
I don’t know what I’m holding on for,
Everyday I just end up flat on the floor.

Running Out of Rhymes

It’s taken me way too long to see,
You really are the only one for me.
I have screwed up so many times,
I’ve written this before and I’m gonna run out of rhymes.
You keep saying, “I finally know how you really feel.”
But even now you know my love for you is real.
You walk away and say your done,
But I think this is just an excuse for you to run.
You really don’t want to walk away,
You just forced yourself to believe it wont change and you’ll get hurt if you stay.
I know I’m not the safest bet,
But don’t completely give up on us just yet.

Forget

Forget his name
Forget his face
Forget his kiss
His warm embrace
Forget the love that you once knew
Remember he has someone new
Forget him when they played your song
Remember when you cried all night long
Forget how close you once were
Remember he has chosen her
Forget how you memorized is walk
Forget the way he use to talk
Forget the things he use to say
Remember he has gone away
Forget his laugh forget his grin
Forget the dimples on his chin
Forget the way he held you tight
Remember he's with her tonight
Forget the time that went so fast
Forget the love that moved, its past
Forget he said he'd leave you never
Remember now he's gone forever

Let Me Go

I use to think we had it all
But I didn’t know I was the only one to fall
I gave you everything I had,
And now I’m alone and sad
You say I need to leave the past behind
But I really need some peace of mind
You said that you’re the only one that understands
How can that be when it is you she commands
You seems to bend to her every will
What will be the next thing with her you need to fulfill
Everything that happened nearly killed me last time
How many more times must I tell the same rhyme
I could give you anything, do anything you wanted me to
But if it happened again…what would you expect me to do
You said you loved me before
But that didn’t stop you from leaving me and walking to her door
I was starting to believe just maybe we were past all this
But I guess it’s her your starting to miss
I’ve done nothing but try and give you everything you need
Now I’m sitting her trying to plead
If I am not enough to keep her out of your life
And lately cause you nothing but strife
Then make your choice
I only have one voice
If she is what you really want and I’m and not enough you need to let me know
And if that’s the case, whether it kills me or not you need to let me go.
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No One Else Like You

I love everything about you
There's no one else like you
It's amazing how I feel when I'm around you
What did you do to make me fall in love with you?

With you I'm so happy
We're perfect for each other
I feel like we're meant to be
Don't you think?

I wouldn't know what to do without your love
You are the only reason why I smile
You have made my world whole
You are my everything

I love you
I need you
Don't let me go
But if you want someone else, please let me know

You are the owner of my heart
Just promise me you won't ever break it
I'm all yours
and I'm glad to say that you're all mine

Please never leave me
I wouldn't know what to do
Just promise me you won't
cause there's no one else like you

Confused

My knees start to shake,
When you're in sight.
My mind is filled with wonder,
My heart with fright.

When will this feeling stop?
When did it start?
How can I listen to my mind,
Without breaking my heart?

I'm so confused.
What should I do?
I can't think of anything,
Except you.

Should I ignore you,
Or just give it time?
I can't think straight,
My heart controls my mind.

I love...

I started making a list of all the things that I love,
so maybe you can begin to see why your my angel from above.
I love your eyes I can stare into for hours.
I even love our ridiculously long, hot showers.
I love your eyelashes and your perfect smile.
I even love wrestling with you that causes me to be out of breath for a while.
I love your eyebrows that have a natural shape.
I even love how you seem to fix everything with tape.
I love how you keep your things really organized and neat in rows.
I even love your crooked nose.
I love your style and the clothes you wear.
I even love when you wake up and have that crazy hair.
I love your tattoos, earrings, and tongue ring.
I even love and adore it when you sing.
I love how our hands perfectly fit.
I even love when your riding how you say you love being back on something with a "real" motor in it.
I love how you understand me and typically know what I'm talking about.
I even love your creepy, crazy face that really creeps me out.
I love listening to your heart beating next to mine.
I even love when your talking about cars though I don't know what your saying 75% of the time.
I love the way your kisses are always leaving me wanting more.
I even love the funny positions in which you sleep with your mouth wide open and snore.
I love the way you talk.
I even love the way you walk.
I love that you like some of the same music I like.
I even love how funny you look with your 6'3 body riding around on the mini bike.
I love how when I'm with you, I'm always having fun.
I even love that you say "Jetta." every time you see one.
I love how you hold me tight.
I even love that when I get upset just being with you makes everything seem alright.
I love the person I am when I'm with you.
I even love that forever more our love will remain true.

Growing Up

Don’t tell me what to do
I’m so sick of living for you
This is suppose to be my time
My time to shine
My time to dance
Back off, you had your chance
Don’t make me turn my back
There is so many things our relationship lacks
I am not trying to offend
I just want you to comprehend.
I am not a little girl anymore.
There isn’t much keeping me from walking out that door.
It’s so hard to talk to you,
You find something wrong with everything I do

I Am

I am a poet writing of my pain.
I am a person living a life of shame.
I am your daughter hiding my depression.
I am your sister making a good impression.
I am your friend acting like i'm fine.
I am a wisher wishing this life weren't mine.
I am a girl who thinks of suicide.
I am a teenager pushing her tears aside.
I am a student who doesn't have a clue.
I am the girl sitting next to you.
I am the one asking you to care.
I am your best friend hoping you'll be there.

Eternity

I lie in bed at night and pray,
that you will think of me.
I cry until my eyelids close,
and dream-eternity.

I wake to sunlight on my face,
for a moment I forget.
Then a cloud passes by,
and I realize, this is it.

I carry on throughout the day,
feigning joy, and feeling pain.
I long to gaze upon your face,
and share a smile, an embrace.

The day is drawing to an end,
and still I think of you.
I try to relax, yet in my mind,
I wonder what to do.

So now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord, my soul will keep.
And should you chance think of me,
know that I love you-eternally.

The Love of My Life

I knew you for a long time, and never thought we would be together.
But when you looked me in the eyes, I knew I would love you forever.
The way you make love to me, no man has ever done.
You make me feel so amazing like a little-big kid.
You're always there for me no matter what,
Even when I fall your there to pick me up.
We might fight, we might yell, we might argue,
But in the middle of all that you are my shoulder to cry on.
We go through ups and downs, good and bad,
And you always know how to make me happy, even when i'm sad.
One thing I do know out of the two year and a half years we've been together,
We are the same person and that's what keeps us loving each other.
I cant wait for the day when I become Mrs. Martin Fischer
The day when we say our vows and have a new start.
But until then I do know one thing no matter what,
you are and always will be, the love of my life.

Who's Really Changing?

When your in a relationship with someone who LOVES you, makes you HAPPY, treats you GOOD, & gives you a reason to SMILE every day people start to think that your changing, including FAMILY and FRIENDS. Some people just cannot accept you being HAPPY when their living an UNHAPPY life, but when you have someone SPECIAL in your life who's ACCEPTING and LOVING you as a person regardless of your FLAWS that person is considered as your BETTER HALF. You're no longer SINGLE so therefore more time is spent making sure (He/She) is happy, satisfied Etc. So you have to ask yourself "AM I CHANGING (or) ARE THEY CHANGING?"

The way he makes me feel

I want to marry him one day...he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Six years as friends/acquaintances, a part of me always knew we would one day be together. It's been two years in July and it's hard to believe. We have had more ups and downs than many couples, but through it all we managed to pull through and become stronger than ever. I've never been with someone who makes me feel the way he makes me feel. He makes me want to settle down...get married, have kids, and make a life together. I've never wanted anything like that before. He allows be to be myself and loves me anyways, even on my crazy days. He is the man of my dreams, my lover, and my best friend and holds the key to my heart... ♥

Lonely Girl

Lights off, just laying on your bed,
you start thinking about him & all the words left unsaid.
You start to cry, you feel the pain.
You look outside, here comes the rain.
What aweful weather to match your wounded heart.
You replay the old memories of him from the beginning; you press start.
It was perfect,
he was worth it.
He made you rise then watched you fall.
You'd talk for hours, he'd send you flowers, then one day he'd never call.
Your friends would tell you he was lying.
Then late at night you'd end up crying.
How he cheated, you'll never know.
Now you're in your room trying to let him go.
You tear off the pictures & burn the letters.
Why would you keep them if you're not together?
Your puffy eyes and headache won't go away.
You've been like this for hours, will you be ok?
And just as you're about to forget him.
You feel your heart beat, pounding from within.
When you gave him your heart, you thought he'd cry joy.
Never would have guessed it's something he'd destroy.
You'll cry by myself, you'll be ok.
Too bad in your mind that boy shall stay.
 For even though he did you wrong,
you still think about him through every love song.
And as it pours, so do your eyes.
Maybe one day, they will be dry.
But for now, your beds the only place in the world,
for you to ache as a broken hearted, lonely girl.

Too Good to be True

My eyes hurt from crying, my heart hurts from trying. I look so tired & worn out because inside I'm dying. I miss you, I need you, but I'm better off without you. Days will have to drag on longer, but eventually I will stop thinking about you. What you're feeling now? Man, I wish I knew. I feel broken & unwanted, like it was easy for you to let me go. I trusted you with everything, I let my feelings show. Someday I hope I can look back at this & say I was strong. But I know I'm not, you knew it all along. So for now I will wait for my heart to heal. Maybe one day it will work again, maybe one day I'll feel again. I thank you for leaving me so damaged. But I just wanted you to know, I will be ok, I will manage without you. I guess love really is too good to be true.

I've learned

I have learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. I have learned that is taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I have learned that it is a lot easier to react than it is to think. I have learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you. I have learned that maturity has more to do with the types of experiences you have had and what you have learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. I have learned that quanity is not as important as quality when it comes to best friends. I have learned that is isn't enough to be forgiven by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. I have learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world will not stop for your grief. I have learned that background and circumstances might have influnced who you are, but we are responsible for who we become. I have learned that you can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved. I have learned although the word "love" can have many meanings, it loses value when overly used. I have learned that no matter how old or wise you think you are, life never stops teaching...

Maybe

maybe she just feels like
she's never good enough.
not a good enough friend,
not a good enough girl, not
a good enough sister, daughter,
student, athlete. and maybe
she's just sick of trying.
maybe she's
sick of crying

She's a disaster
she looses faith in herself everyday
Her life is a mess and she doesn't even care
no one understands her
And people say stuff to put her down and
no one even notices she might be breaking inside
Or they never notice that maybe she needs a hug from someone
or someone to sit there with her and listen to her
Maybe that’s all she needs

Love

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? Makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love!

A poem for Marty

Sitting in class.
praying the time will pass.
I can't seem to focus on anything but you
and I'm not complaining cause it's my favorite thing to do.
I could sit and stare at you all day long
feeling this way, and loving you so much could never be wrong.
You have the smile and eyes that melt my heart
but your amazing looks, I assure you, are just a small part.
You never fail to make me smile
being with you could never go out of style.
I can see that our love is true,
that's why I'm so scared to lose you.
I worry one day you'll get tired of me,
and discover I'm not as amazing as I seem to be.
You assure me that will happen never,
which makes me happy because I want you forever.
I miss you so much I cry to myself at night
I just want you here to hold me tight.
It took five years for you to figure out
I was the girl you'd been dreaming about.
I'm glad I finally get to call you mine,
because I want to call you that til the end of time.
Even though we've only been together a short while
I can tell we are perfect, by how you make me smile.
You say one day you'll marry me,
and together forever and always is what we'll be.

My One in a Million

They say good things take time
But in reality, great things happen in the blink of an eye
I thought the chance of meeting someone like you was a million to one
But here you are, my one in a million

All this time I was searching for love
Trying to make things work that weren’t good enough
After all that I thought I’m through
I told everyone I give up and I’m done
Then I stumbled into the arms of the one
My one in a million

Thought I knew what love was before you,
But I didn’t have the slightest clue

At first sight my head began to spin
The thought of you glancing my way caused me to grin.
My one fear was that you’d disappear.
You had vanished from my life twice before
I was afraid that once more you’d walk out my door.
My heart jumped just getting to talk to you
It had been so long, it was unsure of what to do.

We finally hung out,
Neither of us were sure of what would come about.
I guess I wasn’t the only one hoping for a kiss that night
Cause you were holding my hand and pulling me close with all your might
Another kiss and the words I love you was all that was said
And my life wasn’t my own anymore, it was your instead.

I sit here wondering how I got so lucky,
What I did to make you finally want me
A part of me always knew it would be you
Sometimes I find myself thinking its too good to be true
I can’t find the catch or a cloud in the sky.
Maybe you’re an angel in disguise, my perfect guy.

You make me laugh about the silliest things.
Just hearing your voice, my heart sings.
I get mad and upset sometimes
And keep it to myself using the “oh i’m fine” lines
I hope you know its just because I miss you so much
And not just your hugs, your kisses, or touch.
It’s my soul mate, my lover, my best friend
The one guy I want by my side in the end.